Thursday 7 July 2016

How Cancer Changed my Perspective

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

I am a big believer in positive vibes, good thoughts, and how all of that can change your life. But it's easier said than done to change your perspective - After all, habits are hard to break.  But it's worth working at, even if it's just to look at something and train your mind to pick a positive out of it; something small, but worthwhile. It really does make so much of a difference.
Today, I want to talk about how cancer changed my perspective of life.

It's scary to say it, but cancer made me want to live again. Crazy, right? It made me realize how much I actually cherished my life, as much as I said to the contrary. I wasn't in a good place, mentally - I didn't want the life I had been given. Or, rather, I thought I didn't. But when you're actually faced with something that makes you think about your own mortality - Not that my cancer is in any way lethal, it just made me think about it! - you start to realize just how lucky you are to actually have the life you've been given. I can proudly say, I don't have intrusive suicidal thoughts anymore. I'm happy to be alive.

Did cancer cause that? No, I don't believe it did. I believe that cancer simply made me take a look around and think, "wow, I have more than I thought I did." and that's what got me through.



I took things for granted. I mean, I'm seventeen - I'm always going to take things for granted. I try not to, but it happens. I try every day to appreciate the little things ust as much as the big things, now. My own bed, wi-fi, hand sanitizers, cups of tea - little things that we often take for granted, and things I know that I took for granted. I'm trying hard to appreciate the little things as well as the big things, because those little things are what matter. You'll look back and realize, those little things were really the big things, too.

I also think in a different way than I did before. I was always a realist, or so I told myself - realistic with a side of pessimism, really. But when you're diagnosed with cancer, that kind of mindset will get you nowhere. You can't be a pessimist. You can't look at things and see the worst, because all that will do is let negativity well inside you and that is not what you need. You have to be realistic, yeah - but I think optimism helps you more than anything. It's hard, though, I know that. Being optimistic even in the face of something so horrible is hard. But if you can do that, or at least remain realistic - well, you're halfway there.

I think cancer made me look at everything a bit differently. It made me see things in a new light - instead of picking out the negatives in things, I started picking out the positives. It was what I had to do when I first got my diagnosis. And when faced with bad news, I don't crumble into a ball of tears the way I used to- I have thicker skin. And that's important!

Cancer made me reevaluate what's important in life, too. I now realize that my priorities were a bit screwed up- I was so obsessed with being "different" to others, that I was hurting myself in the process. I wanted to stand out and be, well, different. I pushed aside everything - My family, my hobbies, in order to be someone I wasn't because I just didn't like myself. But there is only one me in the world. If I try to be someone I'm not, I'll just become nothing- an original is worth more than a copy. I like myself alot more, now. I'm a better person.

It feels weird saying that "cancer made me a better person" - but it did start the process. Cancer changed everything for me, and changed everything in me, for the better. Am I happy I have cancer? Not at all. Don't get me wrong - I wish, more than anything, I did't have to go through all this. But wishing isn't going to get me anywhere, so I'm doing the best with what I've been given.

I know what matters now, and what doesn't.
Cancer may have helped me see things more clearly, but now it's time to kick it's ass!

1 comment:

  1. Couldn't agree more! Positivity attracts positivity. And you are the MOST positive, inspirational person I know. Keep being you ❤️ You are an original, and the world needs you xxxx

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