The Emotional Impact

We all react differently to different things - it's what makes us human. It makes us individual, but sometimes everything can become a little too much to bear by yourself - and that's why I am writing this blog about how to cope, and the emotional impact a diagnosis of cancer can have on the individual.

I chose this topic, which I'm sure I've touched on briefly before, because last night the reality of my diagnosis finally hit me. It was late, too late for anyone in my house to be awake (And there was no chance that I'd wake my parents at 5AM) besides me - being a teenager, my sleep patterns get a little bit messed up over Summer break. I still haven't gotten them back to normal!
And last night, I ended up lying in bed and overthinking - about my future, my plans, my dreams and goals and wishes. Everything seemed a bit too much, and I realized that I had never really allowed myself time to feel anything over this diagnosis. I was putting on a brave face, trying hard to show the world my positivity - but sometimes, that can't be the case. We all need a break.
I have great friends; amazing friends, really, who live in different time zones to me. So as soon as they found out I was feeling low, they were right there to help me out and talk things through with me. I don't know what I'd have done without them, besides lie in bed and cry and overthink everything.

The emotional impact of a cancer diagnosis is hard on most people, and I am no exception. I think it just took a few months for it to really sink in and hit me hard that things may never be quite the same as they were. I might not get to do everything I wanted to in life.

Most people feel a variety of feelings after their diagnosis, besides just a feeling of sadness - some people feel angry, some purely sad, some ashamed. Everything you feel is normal and valid, as one of my friends told me last night. There isn't a right or wrong way to feel - but coping, or learning to cope, is an important step to dealing with your diagnosis. We all need healthy outlets, and often times sharing them is a good place to start - It's good to be strong, but when it happens that you're just bottling up your feelings, that's not a good thing. Talking, being open, can be hard. But in all aspects of life, it's important.

It's important to recognize when things are becoming too much - if you feel like you are struggling to cope, there are options available. There are support groups, therapies, even counselors to speak to who will help you work through your feelings and learn to manage them on a day-to-day basis. That's the most important thing, I think - taking things one step at a time, and learning to manage each day.

I am most worried, personally, about my cancer returning. at the moment I am responding well, but I am in a high risk group and need preventative treatment - but there are some things in life that can't be guaranteed. And that really got to me last night - what will happen to me in the future? What if I never get to achieve the things I want to?

It's important to take a step back and realize; the moment, today, is yours. The future is never guaranteed - but that's life. And life, though hard, is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Just because tomorrow is not promised doesn't mean today should be spent with uncertainty. Make the most of every day - because who knows what tomorrow will bring.

If you are struggling to cope with your cancer diagnosis, don't suffer alone.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/copingOr you can call Macmillan on 080 808 00 00, monday to friday, 9AM-8PM

Please take care of yourselves. Talk, take care, and stay safe.

Much love - Lana. x